Tips on How to Pray Together (In Greater Detail)
(Excerpts from Couples Who Pray; p50-53)
- Just Start Talking to God
Prayer is simply talking with God. He invites you to come into his presence so He can love, encourage, and teach you. God also wants to help the two of you build a marital foundation that is lasting and unshakable, with Him in the middle. Therefore, the more you pray, the more power will come to you.
- Make Time to Pray
Find a mutual time conducive to establishing your routine of praying. Is it easier in the morning or at night? Some couples find it better to get up a few minutes early before the kids. Some find it more suitable before bedtime. If you’re apart, pray on the phone.
- Have an Attitude of Gratitude and Vulnerability
Recall things God has done for you, individually and as a couple. Thank Him for specific blessings: your children, your health, your home, and income. And, go ahead. Be vulnerable. After all, you’re talking with God. He knows everything about you anyway!
- Confess Wrongdoings – Request Forgiveness.
Honestly ask God to show you where your problem areas are, freely confessing those problems you perceive. He wants to free you from the shackles of resentfulness, insecurity, mistrust, doubt, guilt, shame, fear, uncertainty. Don’t own it anymore. Give it all to Him. Let God carry your baggage.
- Pray Out Loud
At the outset, perhaps only one of you will speak. But as you become more comfortable, both of you will want to state your concerns and requests. Praying is like an exercise . . . the more you do it, the more natural it becomes. And the more indispensable it is in your life.
- Keep it Short
Prayers don’t need to be long-winded or flowery. If you each speak for one or two minutes, that’s just fine. As you develop your own style and patterns, you may find yourself extending the experience.
- Use Everyday Language
God does not require thees and thous. Imagine that you are sitting down to have an open, intimate conversation with a father with whom you are completely at ease, who lovingly listens to every word, and wants to give you anything you ask for. It’s your heart¾not your tongue¾from which He wants to hear.
- Pray for Your Relationship
Your prayer sessions are intimate communications. It is never time to bring up shortcomings. This is when you need to be the most sensitive to each other’s feelings. Use kind and encouraging words about each other. Thank God for this opportunity to experience Partnered Prayer. Ask Him to help you seek harmony. As you pray together, He will work within each of you to become more united in your thoughts and desires.
- Pray for Family, Others and Yourself
Praying for family and others is what many people have learned is the only way to pray. That is important. But God also desires that you ask His help for yourself too. Especially when the two of you are in agreement: “If two of you agree, on anything, my Father will give it to you.” (Mt 18:19)
- Expect Your Prayers to Be Answered.
Pray with the expectation that God not only hears your every prayer, but that He will answer them. He promises that several times in the Bible: “Ask, believe, and receive,” is just one example. (Mt 21:22). In fact, you and your partner can feel comfortable in thanking God for your blessings in advance.
Expect that He will answer. Not necessarily the way you thought, nor even on your timetable. Sometimes the answer “no” will mean that He has something better for you. When that happens God may need to place things in order before He can divinely align you with His outcome. It’s in our waiting that God does His work. And in the waiting, He builds our faith. As promised in the Ancient Scriptures: “Fatih is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Heb. 11:1).
